


Man Advantage

by WriterWrong



Category: Hockey RPF, Original Work
Genre: Additional Tags To Be Added As Story Progresses, Canada, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Foreign Language, Homophobia, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Semi-Professional Hockey, Supportive Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 11:27:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14592039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterWrong/pseuds/WriterWrong
Summary: Nathaniel Johnson is a closeted LGBT star goaltender for the Yellowvale Vikings of the Canadian Prairie Hockey League (CPHL). Keeping his secret is crushing him from the inside out. He feels that he has nowhere to turn in the league; nobody to turn to for support. To make matters worse, he's madly in love with the team's captain, Trevor Peterson. He can't catch a break.Diana Poole is living a similar life. She's the team's number two defenceman. She's who she wants to be but still feels obligated to hide from the league. She starts developing feelings for Nathaniel and things get complicated really quickly.Trevor Peterson is the team's dorky captain. He's been head over heels for Nathaniel ever since the first game they played together. The only problem? Trevor is straighter than an arrow.The three strike up a friendship. One that helps Nathaniel break out of his shell and realize it doesn't matter what others think of you.The only thing that matters is that you're happy and confident with yourself.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> OMG. I’m writing a novel! I’m hoping you guys enjoy reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. 
> 
> There was no beta used, so all mistakes are my own. If you see anything that needs to be changed, let me know so I can change it.
> 
> Have fun reading this!

1-0. Last minute of the third period. An intense vibe is filling the arena. The home crowd is anxious because they’re losing. Nathaniel Johnson is eating it up. Relishing in the fact that his team his winning in the toughest arena in the league.

 

He’s standing between the red painted iron, counting down the seconds until he can celebrate the victory. He gets caught up in the moment and doesn’t notice that someone on the other team is breaking away towards his crease until his defenceman, Alexander Yelchin, hollers exceptionally loudly at him from the red line.

 

“Beth! Breakaway!” He cringes at the Russian accented name. He doesn’t let that affect his focus.

 

The girl on the breakaway—he thinks her name is Marie LaFleur—makes him bite to his left. She quickly shoots the puck to the right. In desperation, Nathaniel throws his glove hand—yes, his glove is on his right hand—at the puck. The puck ends up deflecting off the glove and going over the net.

 

“Fuck you!” The girl hisses with a French accent.

 

Nathaniel smirks under his mask as he returns to proper positioning in the net. “Wouldn’t you love to, ma chérie?”

 

Marie makes an exasperating noise as she skates after the puck. Nathaniel always finds pleasure when he can fluster opponents like this. It makes his endorphins race faster through his body. In turn, making him more energized and raring to play better.

 

He catches a quick glance at the clock. Roughly thirty seconds left. Nathaniel inhales. Exhales. If his team can handle the puck properly for the next thirty seconds, this will be his first career semi-pro shutout. Something he has been dreaming about since he first laced up goalie skates as a six-year-old.

 

 _Brzzzzt_.

 

This was it. This was the sound of the buzzer to end the game. He did it. His teammates were starting to swarm him. They all have exceptional grins on their faces.

 

“Shutout, baby!” The backup goaltender, Devin Granderson, was shouting in Nathaniel’s ear. He draped an arm around Nathaniel’s shoulders. “Drinks on me, Beth!”

 

Tensing up, Nathaniel withdraws from Devin’s touch. His eyes take a sorrowful glean, almost as if he is about to cry. Devin takes notice, cocking his head.

 

“You okay, hun? You seem sad.”

 

Nathaniel puts forth the brightest smile. He knows it is all a front, but he has to stay strong for his teammates. He is the franchise’s star goaltender. He isn’t allowed to have issues that could destroy the team.

 

“I’m great!”

 

Devin cocks his head again, this time a slight frown tracing his lips. Nathaniel feels nervous sweat beading at his forehead. He most certainly _isn’t_ ready to go there if Devin pushes another time.

 

“We’ll talk after everyone is outta the dressing room, okay?”

 

A wave of nausea is washing over Nathaniel in that moment. He really doesn’t want to do this. This is something he’s held close to him for far too long. Spilling the beans could be disastrous.

 

Thankfully, no one else on the team seems to notice that Nathaniel is having an internal crisis. They’re all giving him little head bumps and soft words of congratulations as they make their ways back to the locker room.

 

In his stall, Nathaniel sits quietly between Katie Ianetta and Diana Poole. There’s never any room in the visiting locker rooms for him to have more that three or four inches on either side of him to move around. He isn’t claustrophobic; it’s just difficult to maneuver all his goaltending equipment around with two other players practically breathing down his neck.

 

Nathaniel gets down to his sportswear. There’s a mirror right across from him. He can see himself staring; staring right at his chest. Tears are welling viciously in his eyes. He hates looking at himself in the mirror or in a photograph. It’s his game day ritual to avoid cameras and mirrors. He fears seeing his reflection will damage his self-confidence too much to stay focused during the game.

 

Diana is looking directly at him, eyebrow raised questioningly. Nathaniel doesn’t notice her because he doesn’t acknowledge her. She continues to observe the way he’s staring at his chest. The way he’s staring at his face. The way he’s staring at his hips. She’s seen this before. Seen it in herself. Diana makes note to approach Nathaniel about this—albeit cautiously—when they return home.

 

By the time the three of them are dressed in their after game clothes, some of the other players are waiting for them as they step outside the locker room. Devin pulls Nathaniel aside as soon as they cross paths.

 

“Hun, you seemed sad earlier,” Devin spoke, rubbing Nathaniel’s wrist soothingly. “Are you alright?”

 

Nathaniel was sighing as soon as the words left Devin’s lips. He was deciding if he was going to do this or not. _Could_ he do this?

 

“Just sad that my parents weren’t here to see my shutout,” he was sighing again, “that’s all.”

 

“You sure? You withdrew as soon as I said your name.”

 

His mind was screaming the truth as loudly as it could. He couldn’t tell Devin. This could ruin his career. He was sighing for a third time, raking a hand down his face.

 

“It just made me think of my grandma. The last thing she ever said was my name.” Nathaniel felt awful lying, but it was the only way he could get out of this unscathed.

 

Devin had a look of sympathy on his face. He was squeezing Nathaniel’s shoulder softly. He said something encouraging before walking away to join the rest of the team.

 

Living this lie was eventually going to swallow Nathaniel whole. He knew that. It was already starting to effect him. He was losing weight because he wasn’t eating as much. He was sleeping less because he was stressing to the nines. If he kept going, he would probably jump off McCreery Bridge to get away from his demons.

 

The team captain, Trevor Peterson, was hollering for everyone to assemble so the coach could do a head count. Nathaniel was walking over with shaky legs.

 

Coach Peter Smoak was calling out player’s names. Nathaniel was barely paying attention. The voices of his teammates were melting into the shadows of the corridor behind him.

 

“...any Johnson?” Smoak was scanning the crowd of players, looking for the person he had just called.

 

Nathaniel thought he faintly heard his name. He wasn’t the only one with the last name Johnson, but Henrik Johnsson pronounced his with a Swedish inflection.

 

“Here!” Nathaniel said, softly.

 

His voice felt foreign to him. It sounded too much like his mother’s. It reminded him too much of the fact that he was too much like his mother and not enough like his father.

 

“Alright. That seems to be everyone.” Smoak clasped his hands. “Once we get back to the hotel, get ready for bed. We fly out at 7:30. You guys need all the sleep you can get.”

 

A chorus of groans was filtering through the corridor. Young adults and going to bed early did not compute. Nathaniel was scanning the crowd, looking for Devin. Devin was looking mischievously at him. Nathaniel was swallowing around a lump that was forming heavily in his throat. He was remembering that Devin said drinks were on him. He was shuttering at the thought of what the backup was planning now that everyone had to be in bed early.

 

The team was starting to filter onto the bus. Everyone was sitting with their normal seat mates; that meant Nathaniel was alone. He never had issue with that. It was his routine from the time he joined this team as a 16 year old.

 

This time, things were a little different. Diana was heading towards the back of the bus where Nathaniel sits. That’s not where she sits. She always sits up front with Katie because they are inseparable best friends. They have such electric chemistry that they’re even defence partners.

 

Diana is sliding into the seat beside Nathaniel without a word. He’s listening to music, so he jumps when he looks over and sees Diana siting beside him. He takes his headphones off and looks at Diana with concern.

 

“Is everything okay?” He asks. “Did Katie kick you outta your seat?”

 

Diana is chuckling softly. “No, love. I wanted to talk to you about something.” Her voice is soft with her native British accent.

 

Sometimes, Nathaniel forgets that Diana moved to Canada when she was 11. She’s so amazing at hockey for someone that got a late start at it. She loves poutine, maple syrup, baseball, hockey (obviously), and ketchup chips.

 

“Alright?” Nathaniel is a little sceptical because the two of them don’t talk that much outside of the rink. He is adjusting his position in his seat so he can get a better look at Diana’s face.

 

“I’ve yet to tell anyone this, besides management and coaching.”

 

Nathaniel was straightening in his chair. He was preparing for the worst. Sweat was gathering at his brow as he was sitting there anticipating what Diana was going to say next.

 

“I’m transgender.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s Czech dialogue in this chapter. I just used Google Translate because the lovely language of Czech is not one I know. If anything is wrong, let me know!
> 
> I’ll include the translations in the endnotes. That way, you can read the story and not get spoilers for what’s coming :)

Nathaniel was blinking in shock as the words were coming out of Diana’s mouth. He was looking rather dumbfounding staring at her the way he was.

 

“Hey, Johnson!” Richard Havlat, one of the team’s left-wingers, was shouting in a thick Czech accent from his seat three rows up. “Close your mouth! You will catch flies.”

 

Nathaniel was jumping a little. He hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings, so he wasn’t aware that anyone was looking at them.

 

“Fuck you, Richie!” Nathaniel was turning towards Richard with a scowl on his face. He was casually flipping him off without a second thought.

 

Richard was scoffing as at the same time he was turning to his seat mate, Kendrys Velasquez. Richard is mumbling something that Nathaniel can’t make out. Kendrys is laughing along with whatever Richard is saying, which is making Nathaniel paranoid.

 

Kendrys is turning around, looking like he’s going to say something. He thought better of it when Trevor to notice from his seat across the aisle from Kendrys. Kendrys was swallowing nervously before quickly turning around to do whatever it was that he was doing before.

 

Trevor was glancing back at Diana and Nathaniel with sympathy on his face. He was smiling a second later before turning back to talk to Devin.

 

Nathaniel was sighing. Everything going on around him was too much. Diana telling him what she told him was going to most likely force him out of the closet. He didn’t want that. The way Richard was looking at him made it appear that he knew more than he was letting on. They way Trevor was glancing over made it seem like he heard something. Nathaniel was going to go mad; he just knew it.

 

“Are you okay with that?” Diana speaking was snapping Nathaniel out of his haze. 

 

“Oh,” Nathaniel was saying with a hint of surprise. “Of course.”

 

Diana was leaning over and wrapping Nathaniel in a giant hug. Even though he wasn’t much for hugs off the ice, he was embracing her. This was an appropriate time to do so.

 

“Lesbos!” It was Richard again. This time, he was very upset.

 

Diana was turning towards him, fury in her eyes. “We hug on the ice all the time. That doesn’t make us lesbians. Neither does this.”

 

“Hugging on the ice is normal. That is part of the game. Hugging like this was disgusting.”

 

“Shove a foot up your bum, you bloody wanker. There’s nothing wrong with being lesbian, queer, or whatever isn’t straight. Love is love, you git. Or haven’t they taught you that in Králičí?” Diana was seething; Nathaniel had never seen her so angry.

 

Trevor was looking back and forth between Richard and Diana. He saw the rage in Diana’s eyes. He saw the pure disgust in Richard’s. He was seeing something that Diana and Nathaniel weren’t; Kendrys laughing evilly.

 

“That’s enough,” Trevor was shouting so everyone on the bus could hear him. “If this continues, I’ll suggest to Smoak and management that Richard’s ‘A’ be removed and be given to Diana.”

 

The look on Richard’s face was absolutely off-putting. He was turning to Trevor, eyes seething with rage.

 

“How dare you!? How could you give my ‘A’ to a fucking lesbian? That is just wrong!” Richard was roaring with rage. His Czech accent was so thick that anyone who could hear him could barely understand him.

 

“No, it isn’t. Being an alternate means you have to show leadership and be able to accept anyone for who they are. You clearly can’t do that,” Trevor was saying simply to try to make Richard understand. “I’ll make the request to change the ‘A’ to Diana as soon as we get to the hotel. If you don’t like that, too bad. You should’ve learned to be more accepting growing up. Hockey is for everyone.” Trevor was pausing, as if contemplating something. “Bethany is half black and you don’t seem to have a problem with her. Why is that?”

 

Richard was calming down a little. He had an awkward look to his face. He was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Nathaniel knew what that meant without Richard having to say it. He was still wanting the words to come out of Richard’s mouth.

 

“I have a crush on her.”

 

The whole bus went ghost-quiet. All anyone could hear was the rush of air encompassing it as they drove down the streets towards the hotel.

 

Trevor’s face was dumbfounding and hurt. Nathaniel wasn’t sure why. Trevor had to know that Richard would never get with Bethany. Not after he was that insulting towards Diana.

 

Nathaniel rose from his seat, staring Richard directly in the face. “Go find some chick that’ll deal with your bullshit homophobia.” He was causally flipping Richard off again, this time with both hands.

 

” _Fena_ ,”Richard only spoke Czech around the team when he was talking to his parents, or when he was pissy that he didn’t score a goal. This was new for him to use it on the bus, surrounded by everyone. Especially saying what he just said.

 

“Richie, you think I don’t know what that means? I’ve been playing hockey with you for three years.” Nathaniel was holding up three fingers so everyone on the bus could see. “I’ve been picking things up. I’m a proud _fena_. You have to do worse than that to piss off this goalie.”

 

Richard was turning around in his seat, speaking Slovak to himself. He was snickering loudly for a moment, before shouting one final word for everyone to hear. “Otýpka!”

 

Everyone was looking around with confusion on their faces. They were all wondering what Richard had just said. Everyone except Nathaniel. He knew all the serious bad words in Czech. Every last one of them. You learn them from every language in the league when you’re a goaltender saving shots of people who think they deserve to score.

 

Nathaniel was sinking down into his seat, tears starting to pour down his face. Diana was looking at him with grave concern. She was reaching her hands out to touch, to cuddle, to hold him. Nathaniel was batting them away the second he saw them.

 

“No,” he was whispering so only the two of them could hear. “I don’t like people touching me when I cry.”

 

“What did he call you, love?” Diana was asking, her voice sounding like it was this close to breaking.

 

“Fa-“

 

Nathaniel was cut off by Diana wrapping him in a hug. This time, he would allow contact while he was crying. This time, he was in need of it. This time, his eyes were leaking at an alarming rate. His nose had begun to produce snot. He was oh so close to shaking uncontrollably. His heart was hammering against his chest like a beat drum. This time was the worst feeling of pain he had ever felt while crying.

 

“No one should ever be called that.” Diana had tears staining her voice. She was close to sobbing as uncontrollably as Nathaniel was.

 

Looking briefly over Diana’s shoulder, Nathaniel saw Trevor sitting in the seat across the aisle. He was twirling his phone between his thumb and forefinger on his left hand. Nathaniel’s expression was lightening a little. The tears becoming lighter, the snot becoming thinner.

 

Diana took notice to the shift in Nathaniel’s expression. She was turning around, knowing it had to be something behind her that was cheering him up. She was smiling when she saw Trevor sitting there.

 

She was standing from the seat immediately. “Be gentle, okay, love?” Diana was talking to Trevor.

 

Trevor was nodding as he was sliding into the seat that was once occupying Diana. He was looking sorrowfully at Nathaniel. Not a single cornrow on Nathaniel’s head had been put out of place from all the sobbing.

 

“You okay, sweetie?” Trevor was inching closer to Nathaniel.

 

Normally, Nathaniel would be screaming for him to back off. People in his personal bubble are a big, fat no. This time, he was in dire need of a hug. A soothing hand on his shoulder. Something to distract him from what Richard had just put him through.

 

A warm hand was coming down on his shoulder, soothingly rubbing away the tension. Nathaniel was feeling his fear of Richard washing away like sand washing away in the tide.

 

A shaky breath was escaping Nathaniel’s lips. He was squeezing into Trevor’s body, trying to get his warmth. Trevor was paying attention to this and swung his arm around Nathaniel. Nathaniel was burying his head in the crook of Trevor’s head to continue crying softly. Being the gentleman he is, Trevor held him until they we’re getting off the bus at the hotel.

 

As they were walking into the lobby, Smoak saw from across the room that his captain and his star goaltender were squeezing together. He saw the redness of Nathaniel’s eyes. The swelling of them. He made a mental note to ask his star goaltender about it as soon as they had a moment alone.

 

Everyone was heading towards their rooms. Trevor broke off from Nathaniel near the front elevator. Trevor’s room was at the front of the hallway; Nathaniel’s was near the back. Trevor was squeezing Nathaniel’s shoulder and whispering encouraging words to him as he was entering his room.

 

Nathaniel was continuing to cry softly as he was walking down the hallway. Just as he was about to swipe his keycard in his door, he felt a hand violently jerking him backwards. The hand was quickly turning him around to face its body.

 

He was suddenly face to face with Richard. Nathaniel tried swallowing the thick lump of fear that was stuck in his throat. He was continuing to try as Richard was backing him up against the door.

 

Opening his mouth, he was wanting to scream for help. Wanting to get anyone to come get Richard away from him. No words left his tear-stained lips. His throat was seizing from the fear his body felt. His heart was starting to race faster and faster. His blood was rushing like race cars through his veins, trying to keep up with his ever-quickening heart. He felt a wave of lightheadedness wash over him. His knees were beginning to buckle. He was reliving the moment directly after his first semi-pro save. He was going into a state of pure and utter panic.

 

Richard was smirking as his six-foot-eight, two-hundred-fifty-seven pound frame was looming fiercely over Nathaniel’s five-foot-ten, one-hundred-fifty-five pound frame.

 

Nathaniel’s back was quickly pressing uncomfortably against the door knob. Richard was continuing to move forward. Trying to get right in his face. Trying to incite fear in Nathaniel’s soul.

 

It was working. Nathaniel felt utter terror. He was willing to go jump off McCreery bridge in Yellowvale just to get away from Richard. He was willing to run, walk, hitchhike, do whatever it took get there for the entire four hundred kilometres if it meant not getting on that plane in the morning with Richard.

 

Richard was making sure to incite the most fear he could possibly incite. He was wanting to scar poor Nathaniel so he couldn’t play hockey properly for the rest of the season. Nathaniel was nothing to him, a worthless piece of existence. Richard needed him to feel that. The crush he had on Bethany was no longer a thing. It went out the door the moment she took his first insult so well.

 

With pure venom dripping from the corners of his disgusting excuse for a mouth, Richard was sneering in Czech so no one could understand what he was saying if they were walking past the two of them.

 

“ _Co teď uděláš, lízání?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Králičí is Richard’s (fictional) hometown. It just means rabbit.
> 
> Fena = Bitch
> 
> Otýpka = f-slur
> 
> Co teď uděláš, lízání? = What are you going to do now, cunt licker?


End file.
